i have no one. no one is here for me anymore. i’ve made friends online in different states, countries, continents even. i can count on them whenever i need them and then i have no one here. by me. someone to cry on, or talk to all night. i think that’s a problem. my bestfriend here, well. she isn’t my bestfriend anymore. i used to call her every time i got an urge or when i was really upset. who do i call? no one. i deal with it on my own. which has, in a way, made me somewhat stronger as an individual. but everyone needs someone. again, i have no one. i have one person i can talk to stuff about here and i don’t even know if they’re gonna stay for that long either. i just lost another friend. i literally only have that one person. everyone else are just people i see everyday, have conversations with. but i could never call one of them and cry to them about stuff i need to cry about. everyone is just slowly drifting away from me here. even my friends online. i have one bestfriend that i tell everything to. i really don’t care if they live in another country, because when i need them they’re there for me more than anyone here is. i appreciate that so much. but now, guess what? i’m losing them slowly too. is it me? i honestly don’t know what i did to push them away. i haven’t changed at all, i think. or have i and i just don’t see it. my old bestfriend here, doesn’t even say hi to me. let alone make eye contact. the other day, one of her new “friends” was being mean to me and she said nothing. she sat there. she just sat there. i thought bestfriends were there for you forever. would never leave you, no matter what. she was like my sister. i treated her like it, nothing less. i just don’t know what’s happening anymore. i really don’t.