I turn eighteen on April 29 and I have been torn about. Should I be excited? Should I be scared? What I do know is that I should be more terrified than excited because of my parents. I knew that my parents would throw in a twist somewhere in there. I knew that at some point they would throw in some new responsibilities. They uncovered the veil today. I knew it. My mom just told me that the moment I turn eighteen, I won’t get anymore fun money from her. If I want to go out, I have to pay for it myself. Which in hand, means that I need a job. I am taking two AP classes and I have three core classes out of five. I told my parents that I already had a plan that I will get a job after I take the big AP exams in the beginning of May. That is only a ten day delay, at most. I would wait ten days to go to my new job. He flipped out on me. Stress is good and you’re always going to have it no matter what. The huge problem is that April is my toughest month to get through. They don’t know htat I relapsed last month. Everything is going downhill. I haven’t SI’d in almost a month-ish and I am effortlessly attempting to stay clean. Now that everything has unraveled about my piquing adulthood, I am unraveling emotionally, mentally. I feel like a screw up when my step-dad talks to me. The way he talks to me is so demeaning, to me.I feel like everything I do is wrong for him. I didn’t apply to any scholarships in a couple weeks. Why? Because I have been stressing out about finals, SI, school, friends, grief, myself. He and my mom have NO clue what really is going on in my life and I hate it. I wish I could tell them what is really going on so maybe, just maybe, they could understand. But with the type of people they are, I highly doubt that could ever happen. Especially since SI is such an immature thing to do, in their eyes. I feel so ashamed.