During my freshmen year, my parents found out about my SIing and threatened to send me into an inpatient clinic. I was terrified, but they could tell that I really wanted to go. They threatened to do so, but it was all a lie. A lie. I needed help and they just pretended that they were looking for help. They got me a counselor, yes, but I could have gotten more help than that. Four years later, I still want that help. I have been considering the possibilities of going into treatment. The thing is, they don’t know that I have recently relapsed after more than a year of sobriety. I don’t want to freak them out by asking them if I can check myself into rehab. I don’t want them to know, I don’t want to risk my education. I know that I need help, but I’m not so far deep that I need serious help. I don’t want to cause a scene if there isn’t a reason to, you know? Besides the point, I am actually admitting that I need help and have been for four years. When will I finally stand up to say that I need help, rather than think it?