Well Im doing ok. I have some urges, but nothing i cant handle, which is really good considering all I wanted to do a few nights ago was si. I didnt. I have a trip coming up with my friend and I am looking forward to getting a tattoo, and I cant si because it would obviously show. Anyway, Im going to go in order.
School is driving me crazy, as always, but I feel grounded right now. I dont think Im going to fail miserably at anything. Im right at the middle week, I have a trip to look forward to soon, so school isnt so bad right now.
Im really tired. All I want to do is sleep, and its not in a bad way, like drown out my sorrows and sleep, but actually tired. I think its because I stopped going to the gym about a week ago. But still, I just need to sleep a whole day and I will be fine I think.
My mom is well…being my mom. Shes being annoying as ever, but since Im always busy I never see it, so its really helping. It helps being at work and being able to hang up on her when I get busy. But at the same time I feel bad for hating her sometimes. At the same time I dont hate her, she just annoys me, to the point where I want to literally scream at her. Dont get me wrong, I love my family, my mom included, but she still thinks im her baby, and im not. I refuse to be babied anymore. Its my life.
Which leads to the tattoo. Im really excited for this, because mainly, its the first thing in a long time im doing for me. I guess I do alot of myself but idk, this just feels different. I want it to reflect who i am, the struggles, the good, the bad. Its going on a place where I si alot on, so itll have a double meaning too. I just dont know what I want yet… im thinking “be strong” or the simple but definilty important “stay strong”.
So, now I have a bunch of homework to finish, I kind of want to go out to dinner, and just go to bed. Im not sure what Ill do, but Ill stay busy if nothing else. I guess on a scale of 1-10 my si urge is at about a 4, which is surprisingly good for the amount of stress im under for school.
Stay strong everyone, and thanks for listening