About a month ago, one of my friends told me to never talk to him again, he told me he gets enough pain from school and he didnt need more from me, he told me to stop hurting him, he told me to leave him alone. So i did as he wanted even though it killed me. He was my safe harbor through everything. He would keep me sane through m parents late night arguments, he would help me calm down so i wouldnt injure, he would get me to eat something on those days where i couldnt make myself do it. He was my rock, my best friend, my saving grace. Without him, i’ve resorted to self injuring again, i can’t help it, the added pain from all the usual and from loosing him is unbearable. My boyfriend now knows about it all, he thinks its his fault, its not his fault, it’s my own, if i wasn’t so weak i would be fine now. I would be normal.  But im not. Im a freak, some mutation of nature. I don’t belong here, i don’t deserve to stay alive. I’m done trying. Done pretending i’m fine when all i want to do is hurt myself. Done hiding the scars.