It is tearing me up that now, as a parent, I am facing self-injury again. My 13 year old stepdaughter has been SI-ing for about a year. I went through the S.A.F.E. program while it was still in Chicago in 2000. It forever changed my life and while it did not cure me (never claimed to), it did make a huge impact in my life – so much that today I am many years injury-free. However, I am am at a loss as to what to do for my stepdaughter. I feel I should obviously know how to help her, but I only know how to empathize with her. Her father believes in there being consequences for her actions (and I agree she needs to take responsibility for her actions) BUT he is taking things away from her as punishment. For instance, although she misuses it, he has taken away her iPod where she chats with friends. These friends are not healthy and some chats we’ve found to be inappropriate so of course I think limiting her chat usage is understandable. However, I also know that if we limit her freedom she will feel like we are smothering her and it could come off as us thinking she is “bad” which we do not. Her father really does not understand the inner workings of self-injury. I’m trying to get him to read Bodily Harm, but he’s having trouble being open to changing anything about his parenting style. I am scared to death for my stepdaughter. I see so much of myself in her…and that has been triggering ME! She has an 8 year old younger sister who could quite possibly follow in her footsteps one day and that frightens me, too. Can anyone direct me to a site or book specific in helping parents of teens who self-injure? My stepdaughter has been in a plethora of therapy – so much she doesn’t trust it anymore. The SAFE Expressions program is way out of our reach – both distance and especially money-wise. I feel so alone as a parent and even as that of a former teenager in turmoil. Needed to reach out to my former place of support. Thank you!