I don’t want my life tonight. I should be grateful but I dont feel like doing this. I absolutely can’t remember why hurting myself is not ok anymore. I’m trying to remember but it’s not coming. It’s my worth it. I hate my apartment, I hate arguing with my gf, I’m lonely, my girlfriend might loose her job, she’s being so hostile and I have no patience and I feel very violent. Im just so irritated with Everyone and everything. I want to run away and be alone and do what I want when I want. Lock myself up somewhere and turn off my phone. I feel embarrassed by what I’m writing but I have to say it somewhere. I just don’t feel like doing this tonight.