I relapsed. Today. I hate myself for it. Its just that, i had this boyfriend for two and half years and he was the only thing keeping me safe, he was mu only reason not to. We broke up on Saturday night. Now, since then i have gone back to SI in more than one way. Without him i have no reason not to do it. I feel ugly, and …. More ugly. Thats all i see when i look in the mirror. He made me feel beautiful, now.. I feel worthless. I feel helpless, why shouldn’t I….?