I self harmed today. It was out in the open. Honestly, I am shocked that not a single person saw me do it.
Scars may fade from my skin, but the memories remain.
I haven’t told a soul about my injuring today. the last time I tried, my 2 best friends were to make me stop before I did something really stupid. well, my one friend was crying while another held her, one told me to stop, and my other friend who’s totally OCD said that either I have to stop or I need to make it symmetrical on both sides. thanks J. that’s exactly what an a depressed teenage girl needs to hear.
I can’t help but wonder if my one best friend still injures herself. it wouldn’t be surprising, especially considering the fact that her life at home is still stressful.
Live. Laugh. Love. three simple things that are impossible for me to do. I’m going to see how long I can go without injuring. If I can go a month, I’ll tell my mom. If I go a year I’ll tell my grandmother. If I make it until high school graduation, I’ll tell my dad. I bet I won’t make it a week.
If YOU don’t believe you can make it a week, you probably won’t. Our thoughts are very powerful. From my experience, if I focus on not self harming for a specific amount of time, a week, 30 days, 90 days etc…it gets too overwheing and I panic and think ” how can I live without this? No way will I be able to live my whole life without hurting myself…” So I go one day at a time. As cliche as it sounds-it works. Somtimes we have to take it 1 minute at a time until the intensity of the urge decreases. Try to keep your head up 😉