I’ve told my friends about my self injuring after I had stopped for a while, and only two of my friends seems to care that I’m “falling back into the rabbit hole” as I like to call it. M ignores it like it never happened. L doesn’t even seem to notice that I’ve mentioned anything. K cares but doesn’t like to talk about it, especially because she use to injure, and T just get’s awkward whenever I try to bring it up. Should I just stop mentioning it? I know that a majority of my friends don’t seem to get it, and the ones that do just don’t want to talk. Maybe I’m better off just forgetting that it ever happened…
Sometimes friends can have a hard time understanding and/or knowing how to help. What about telling an adult this is happening and that you need some support? Find someone you trust – a teacher, counselor or even a cleaning person at school – and tell them you have been feeling anxious or depressed and that you need some support. If you can trust them, open up about what’s going on. We ALL need help now and then – every single one of us. Tell someone who can get you some support so you don’t have to fall back into the rabbit hole. You have the power to stop it from happening!
I think it’s great you’re reaching out here too. If you want any more information or suggestions, you can call our information line at 800.366.8288 – you’d leave a msg. but we’d call you back at the number you prefer. You don’t have to go through this alone.
Pam
I agree with Pam that you should keep looking for someone to talk to, and if you are still in school an adult may be that person, but you should know beforehand that if you’re in high school or grade school and you tell an employee of that school, they are obligated by law to tell your parents or gaurdians. That being said, I don’t think I ever would have been able to give up injuring if it weren’t for my high school guidance counselor. But at the same time, my mom already knew I was injuring by the time I started talking to him and I know if he had been the one to tell her instead of me, I never would have opened up to him.
As for your friends, the ones who have never injured themselves are probably all concerned but also very confused. It’s near impossible to really explain to people who haven’t done it. When I started I was in grade school and years later, while in college, I met up with an old friend who had figured out what I was doing. We talked about it and I asked her why she never did anything about it she said that she was so afraid that she would lose me as a friend or worse that I would hurt myself even worse when I found out she knew. I know that’s different than your situation, but your friends are probably just as afraid of saying the wrong thing as my friend was of saying anything.
As for K, I’ve been in her shoes and for me when my friend told me she was injuring it did two things. First I felt like it was my fault she started because I knew she started after me and I convinced myself that she figured out that I was doing it and it inspired her to do it. I wish I had the courage to ask her if I did inspire her to start because that’s guilt I live with to this day. But also, when she told me I was trying to quit for the first time and I was young and didn’t know about things like triggers, so whenever we would talk about it, it would make it that much harder for me to stop. Maybe you two could set up rules for when you talk about it so she doesn’t have to worry about relapsing herself?
Ena836 makes a good point. They may (and may not) tell your parents – it depends on the school and their individual rules. But going to an adult for help, even if you just tell them about how you feel – depressed, anxious, scared, etc….. – you don’t even need to mention injuring unless or until you feel comfortable doing so. Start with how you’re feeling, and see how that goes.
Best wishes.