I don’t know what to think any more. I’m confused, lost and just depressed at the moment. I was told two weeks ago that i might have bipolar disorder and they put me on medicine while i was already on an antidepressant but i guess it had to do with me withdrawing from the medication. Now i’m slowly coming off the first medicine i was put on and i don’t feel happy any more. I understand that my new meds the dosage will be increased but i don’t like this feeling. I like that ontop of the mountain feeling. I hate myself right now i’m confused on what i’m supposed to feel. One minute i’m soo happy and the next i’m facing anxiety and pushing everyone away by isolating myself. I SIed today and i HATE myself for it. I could have gone a week without it if i was just strong enough. I’ve been in counseling and i just want this to go away but after 8 years of doing this it wont leave. I want to be like other people who deal with stress in a healthy way. Why can’t i do this? I’m so disappointed in myself and beating myself up. I feel like i’m disappointing my counselor and everyone else. I hate myself right now and i just want to give up. I’m weak i’ll never recover no matter how hard i try. I’m not strong enough.