These past few months have been torture for me. Every time I say anything, everyone says “noone cares, shut up, nobody likes you.” I never did anything to any of them. And it’s just gotten worse and worse, in person and on Facebook. I think it’s really sad how tennis and debate, two of my favorite things, have become nightmares for me because of the people in them and how they treat me. And my coaches wondered why i went to my softball tournament on Thursday instead of tennis. It’s because my softball team is nice, supportive, and inclusive. The problem is, my S.I. has become increasingly worse. Part of it is that the worst bullies have been my “friends” since the third, fourth, or fifth grade. Out of the few people I still lean on, the one who i care about the most is mad at me for something I didn’t even say, and it really hurts, because I miss him. So I S.I. to help cope, which is exactly the opposite of what he would want me to do if he wasn’t mad at me. I khelp, but I feel like it’ll make me seem like a hypochondriac, and I don’t know how to ask for it anyways:(
People are cruel. You can’t stop that, and you can’t change that. So don’t punish yourself for that. I’ve been told that many times, and I don’t always think about it when I start to feel depressed, so I’m sharing it with you. Next time you feel like you’re going to SI, please remember that WE care about you, and just because other people don’t care doesn’t mean you should harm yourself. The only thing you can do about mean people is to hold your head high and remember that what they say does. not. matter.
As for your friend that’s mad, try and reach out to him. I was in a similar situation, and I didn’t. I regret that, and wish I would have. But if this guy is being mean to you, and continues to not act like a true friend, then you need to move on. You worrying about this relationship so much is causing you to SI. As you said, it’s the last thing you want to do. Remember to stay strong, and that we all care about you. <3