Its hard to try to be strong. I havnt Si-ed for about a week or so. I was really dissapointed in my last slip :/ but I will try my best to stay on track. Today has been okay. Even if I woke up feeling like I was in an accident or something. My eyes were heavy and my body didnt want to move. Im exhausted now. Sometimes SI will seem to dissapear from my thoughts completly. I dont understand why … and its not great either because when the thought comes back the urges.. are worse then ever. I try being happy all the time but Its just pretend. Like a mask to please everyone. And its better then being emotional and sensitive and crying because of everything. Im trying to stay strong.