Well I broke down and injured again a few nights back. It’s not like I’m beating myself up over it but ofcourse I’m dissapointed I resorted to this once again. Writing  on this sight has been kinda therapudic for me so here’s the story… I had a thing with a boy a couple months ago. Basically whenever him and his girl at the time were separated he’d come to me for comfort. Needless to say, it didn’t work out because he was in love with her, and just in lust with me. Then a couple days ago (when I injured) he all of a sudden texts me and tells me he wants to do the whole friends with benefits thing again. Last time he bragged about it to quite a few people and then other people started to get ideas about me and some even acted on them. Plus I see him flirting with all the other girls in the world and I don’t even like him like that. But I know if he makes another move, I’ll end up going along with it and end up hating myself afterwards. That’s how I’ve always been, I just can’t say no. So I injured directly after our conversation and I started thinking about why I would do that after I hadn’t in so long. Well I figured out that I do it when I feel like I gave no control. Because in a sick sort of way, it gives me back control. Like I can’t stop this boy from doing whatever he wants to me, but I can still hurt myself at least. Does anyone know what I mean?