I can’t believe he did this to me.. When does life become easier… I’m really tired fighting with people… Wish people understood me… So far rape Victims seem to understand somewhat.. Oh why did my mom date pedophiles. I’m afraid to close my eyes at night… People keep hurting me and it never seems to stop… Why am i not aloud to to be happy??? He broke my heart to many times. I don’t deserve this… I put myself through enough pain on my own… I thought he understood me.. Guess I was wrong… Oh so very wrong… I guess i just don’t need love… No ones ever really loved me in my life before why start now??? He completely ignores me… He disappeared off the face of the planet and faked his own death… Jake why do you keep leaving and coming back?? Only to hurt me again?

At times I wonder if he thinks it’s funny. I feel so alone in this world… I hope someday i find my place in this room and I can do it without love… Please God tell me im not completely alone. I laughed the loudest who’d have kno33wn? The choice was mine I didn’t think enough. I’m too depressed.  🙁  HELP