First the good news, I still haven’t SI’ed since the last time that I did a month ago I think. I still don’t sleep with my tool next to me either when I do sleep. I haven’t even thought too much about doing that to myself. The thoughts are still there but not as bad as they were a while ago.
Now for the bad news. I have given up caring about myself. Sure, I still try to help some of the people here when I some advise for them. Other than that, nothing really matters too much to me. I’m just here if that’s what you want to call it. I do the same things day in and day out. The main thoughts that I’ve been having is wanting to disappear in one way or another.
Congrats for all of the good news you presented. That’s really good for you.
I no how it is to just stop caring about yourself and just feel like your there. And you still help people but you don’t really care much. I know because I do the same thing everyday to and sometimes I wish I wasn’t here. But I realized that not caring about yourself can really mess you up and Can be bad but soon you’ll realize that you need to care more about yourself in order to just live and be free of the things holding you down if that makes any since
I still help because it’s the right thing to do. All because I’m messed up, screwed up, ETC.. doesn’t mean that I can’t pass on a little bit that is in my head. I’m sure that someone people don’t want to hear or read it, but I put it out there. It’s up to them.
I stopped caring about myself a long time ago. Each time I did start to care, I had more to lose.
Oh i see. Yes you definatley have good things to say and its rare wen you make a posts so i like to read them. But i understand what you mean and whereyour coming from.
And i know what you mean about having more things to lose. I hate wen i lose people and the things i care about
I don’t make a lot of posts because I try to be private with my problems. But there are times when I need advise. Someone elses views on what I’m thinking and sort of going through.
I guess i should start doing that. Lol
At least you might have got a laugh out of that one
Sorry i didnt mean to laugh the lol was meant like a desperate laugh not at you or your comment
No worries. I’m use to being laughed at. A laugh is a laugh.
Well im used to being laughed at to all day at school but i get over it i was just letting you no tho. Hopefully i didnt offend cuz i tend to do that by accedent
No, I wasn’t offended at all.
I don’t why, but most of my replies go into spam.
Ok few. I worry to much.
And thats odd maybe its the device your on or you need to refreash?
They do get posted later the right way though.
I don’t mind being a pork by-product. LOL
Its funny because i have no idea what that means but it was funny. I think you have taken me outta my funk. Thanks for that
Your welcome. Now you just have to think about that one when you start feeling a little down.
I guess ur not going to tell me what it means huh? Fine im happy now so i guess thats good tho i totally just over crowded your post with all my comments. 0.o
Spam is also a cheap, salty ham-like canned meat.
It’s fine that my post seems crowded. It’s nice being able to just talk to someone.
What!!!! Lol well i hate ham and theres a such thing as canned meat? Eww ive heard if spam but not canned meet. Ohhh i get it hahaha ok thats a good one had me thinking for a second.
And its nice talking to somene new who foesnt realy no you and is there to just talk and doesnt feel bothered (i hope)
And is funny. 🙂
No, I’m not bothered and I’m not really that funny.
Well im a little slow so jokes that arent funny are funny to me thats just me i guess.
And cool because im not bothered either.
Can i ask question tho?
Sure, shoot but don’t miss……
LOL
Lol
I guess its personal but i like to know y you joined this site. Was it to just finally get the things you been keeping in off your chest and looking for advice or was it for like help to stop?
I guess a little of both. I also needed to figure out why I was doing it and if it was ‘normal’. And that wasn’t that personal.
Oh well some people just get sensitive with certain questions and i ddnt want to come off as snopping ratger than careing. If you get that i guess.
But thanks fr answering that i just like to know why people join the site like what was there goal because i can honestly say that my goal was to join the site make one post and get horrased like i did on this one site. Andbthen never come back. But instead i foubd helpful people that give great advice and also help me not to give in to the urges. Hmm interesting how that happened.
I guessnyou cat judge a site by its desighn
And that was a really horrible joke haha
It’s not always that site but the people on it. I’ve noticed on here that they try to make it a really safe place to talk and get help.
Yes your right and thats what i feel here on the other site you had no support only judgment and your right i guess it depends on the people to. Im just happy i found it changed a little piece of my life witch is good. So enough about me this is tour post how are you doing now at this moment? Feeling any better different the same as usual but a little happy?
Does it matter that it’s my post?
Today, I’m feeling okay. A little better but still dark and gloomy.
and You though, how are you now?
I guess it matters to me because im the kind of person whole right off her ow feelings andtake on sombody elses. Plus im also the kind of person who feels like i talk about me to much and am a burdon even tho people tell me im not it takes a lot for me to just listen to them. But i guess you no about how that feels.
Is it always dark and gloomy oh heres another question, have you ever had one day where your mind didnt have one bad thought or your were sad or whhtever you just felt happy and that everything would be ok?im kind of hoping that therell be a day like that for me soon. Probably not though.
Im fine now like right now earlier i wasnt but now i feel calm and nutral like i have no feeling at this very moment. Wich i kind of good right now because whenever im feeling no matter if itshappy or mad i get depressed so yeah i like whatever this is.
I do have days that are better than others. It’s great when I can just relax and read. Throw myself into a good book and not care what is happening in the world.
I’m mainly a listener too. If I’m not asked a question, I don’t tell about myself too much.
Yes i can tell your a listener. Which makes it hard for me because im a listener to, now i guess i would be the talker. And then questions are hard to find now a days ya no they dont come cheap and all the good ones are taken usually by the time i get one.
And i am talking to the right person because i love to read. You may not beilive this but i do tend to read for fun its not just for school lol.
And i like those relaxed days i hd a couple of them kver presidents week but then again i wasnt allowed to do anything so i guess all i hadto do was relax tho that gets boring at times for me. And now that im the talker a fair warning i tend to talk alot when people gjve me the chance.
Think about it this way, you are in a good mood and I’m not going to ruin that one for you.
I know that I shouldn’t do this but this post is starting to get really long. Email is scorpion2286@yahoo.com.
I think thisis by far the longest. Ad cool i emailed you.