Feels like the weight of the world. Thank God I have help. He knows about my grandmother. How she has cancer. Not that it’s lung cancer. Not that she has 8 months max. to live. He won’t unless he reads this. Not until her life is up. He doesn’t know I’m afraid of losing him, and all my other loved ones. He will. He is one of few who will know anything, just not every detail like my best friends. I’m just afraid I’ll wake up, and everyone I love will be dead or will have lost communication. Thank God I can keep my emotions hidden. I am going to go to bed, maybe sleep will get some sense into me.