I can’t get on the Internet much right now, mainly to check email, Facebook, those things. I wanted to blog real quick while I’m somewhere with wifi…I’m really struggling. I’ve gotten through each day so far with no SI or substance abuse but it’s a struggle. I used to see self injury as the lesser or the two evils to my substance abuse but now I get it’s all unhealthy coping mechanisms and I want to be healthy. This time I’m happy to say self injuring feels like a relapse were I to do it. Before i felt I could do it instead of drinking if I HAD to but I don’t believe that anymore. I’m glad I have a fear of it, I have a big fear of relapse in everything. Not a paralyzing fear, but a health fear and I’m glad. Really struggling to do the right, healthy thing tonight.