It’s just so dang hard. It all started in November and has been non stop ever since. I tried staying strong, but I gave in last month (January). I injured for about 4 weeks until my girlfriend got me to tell her. Now she says if I injure myself I’m injuring her. That’s the only thing keeping me from doing it. In a way I’m glad I told her, but at the same time, I’m mad that I did. The reason I started is cause my mom demands perfection from me, and I’m far from perfect. I’m terrified everyday at school that I could forget an assignment or get a less than perfect grade. If I do, I’ll never hear the end of it, and just hear how stupid I am. My mom doesn’t acknowledge any of my achievements, but instead obsesses over my mistakes. She can’t understand that I’m not perfect, I don’t fit in anywhere, I’m not important to anyone anywhere with the exception of my girlfriend, but I barely get to see her. I’m terrified of myself, cause I want to do this horrible thing, but it just feels so good and makes me feel better. I just want to break down most days. To make things worse, I attend an all boys school, where emotions like this do not exist. Im just so scared.