Ok so I’m having urges and I don’t like it. And the funny thing about it is I had a dream about SI. I think it’s funny cuz I was just talking to someone about that. But anyways this dream just brought up things I do not like. On top of that I’ve just been rely annoyed with everyone everyone is ticking me off and I just get so mad but when I usually got to that point I’d SI I don’t want to tho and I’ve been doIng good and I don’t want to let my anger and my annoyance that my family brings me to take me back to those days but omg If the keep making me mad imma have to do somethings and I just hope it’s something positive like my art iv found I like art but idk if that’ll help. I’m not really making any since but I just like to write down what I feel that’s better than what I want o do. Those urges have left me for a good two months and now when I’m dong good they wanna show up. Great. I’m not even sad Or depressed right now I’m just….well I guess I’m angry. And just overwhelmed with starting my life. One more year of bing cared for by this family this family that I hate then I’m gone. I’m ready to go but scared because once I leave I won’t have them o fall back on only because you can’t trust them and they’ll do anything to see you fAil. But anyways now I’m rambling. I know or hope I’ll be ok but if anyone who has had to go off on there own with no family support tell me if it’ll really be ok?