Latelly I’ve been wanting to harm so often. Like anyother addiction, once it’s got you it’s really difficult to kick it. But I feel really hopeful that I can, just like any of you can. While its true that I have traded it in for a bit of a substance addiction, I’ll deal with that when Im ready to. God is my true salvation, and that is the real reason I’ve been able to push away the urge to harm. I have a lot of unresolved issues that I never got around to dealing with and I feel like that plus isolating myself from family and friends are really gunna hold me back from succeeding though. Guess its time to finally see a counselor, just like my mum wanted, for years actually. Butwhat I want to know is, have any of you had any real success with one? I don’t want to waste my mums money if nothing will come out of it.
The substance abuse and self injury go hand in hand for me and I can’t keep engaging in one without the other. If I’m abusing substances I almost always self injure, if I’m self injuring while trying to stay clean and sober I will ultimately use again because it’s my thinking that’s messed up and I’m just using different “tools” to hurt myself-that’s true for me anyway. I totally get how self injury can be seen as the lesser of the two evils, and the other way around. Counseling has been SO very beneficial to me!
I meant to say with that…someone told me that it’s like bobbing of apples. When I stop abusing substances and feel like I have that down, the bulimia apple pops up, once I think I have the eating disorder under control, self injury pops up, and over and over and back and forth-that’s why counseling is so helpful to me right now. I slip up with all of them occasionally but it’s a process and it’s been a lot easier with the help of my therapist.