I am less then one month away from being SI free for one year. I was doing so good, it had been months since I had had the urge to SI and I really thought that I had finally won that battle. I was wrong.
This semester in school I have a bunch of really project orientated classes and some of them are really big. I feel as if I am drowning in the work load between all the reading, papers, projects and random busy work that my professors are assigning. It doesn’t held that last semester I somehow managed to pull a 4.0 (my first ever) and my dad is now expecting a repeat performance.
On top of this I am currently fighting an eating disorder and am trying to get myself back to a healthy weight and BMI. My family is all super concerned about this and are already so worried about me that I don’t want to worry them even more.
I haven’t SIed yet, but the thoughts have come back and urge to do so has been there in my mind again. I don’t know what to do. I am so busy between classes, work and my homework that I haven’t had time to get an appointment and talk to my counselor in 2 weeks and next week isn’t looking good either. I feel like I can’t tell my family because that would worry them more and I know that my mom is already losing sleep because she is so worried about my weight. I only have one friend who knows that I SI and she has enough to worry about with her own classes and hw that I don’t want to burden her. If anyone has any advice for how I can hold on and fight through this and make it to my one year and beyond I would be forever greatful to you! I can’t take much more of this stress and pressure, yet the semester has just begun so it is probably only going to get worse.