i don’t really know why im even telling anybody about this but everyone i talk to tells me that its bad and its huting the people around me more than myself..i like it though for once i have complete silence and all of the negative thoughts are..gone noone thinks that it would be ME doing this to myself i guess its because i was always really happy until last year my dad died and we were really close but he left..then 3 short months later i had only just started going back to school and my mom..brought home a boyfriend like she didnt even care about what happend at all.. i started seeing a counselor because i was considering suicide and i didnt know where else to go..then that summer i got really close to this really sweet boy and we started dating…he had to move to arizona…and now we dont talk..we used to talk about everything he knew what i did how i injure and he was always there but now hes not and in school people call me emo.. and they make fun of me because of the type of music i listen to i have a really close friend her name is maddy and she gets made fun of for the way she dresses and what she listens to also…and yesterday i tried commiting suicide again..but it didn’t work..i tried talking to the suicide hotline …i wasnt patient enough i couldnt sit there and think anymore..my brother keeps saying that im just trying to get attention and thats why i listen to the kind of music i listen to and thats why i cry at night and thats why i dye my hair black and ware black clothse ect but i just want people to leave me alone i just want to feel ok again but i guess that isnt possible for me….i hate feeling hatred towards others aswell expeciall people im supposed to care about or even love…i want to spread love and to love everybody but its soo hard when they are so cruel…..i dont blame them for not wanting to be around me i dont want to be around me either…..