Its not longer an outlet for me. Its not longer something i do on occasion. Its my drug. I need my fix everyday. Its like a cup of coffee in the morning, or a ciggerate during your work break. It calms me, it relaxs me. Its like your best friend, its knows when you need it, and its always there for you. No matter what. But then, its like your worst enemy. It hurts you. It harms you. Best friends arent supposed to do that. They are supposed to love and care for you. Not slowly kill you. But its my best friend none the less. I love not caring for 10 mintues. I love being able to think clearly. But everytime it gets worse. I dont want to continue like this. I want to be normal. But i cant stop. I have become an addict.