so i’m going out with the guy i’ve liked for the past month, yay. i hate it. i feel like he’s just using me to get over his ex because they broke up and the same exact day he asked me out. why would you do that? either you didn’t like her or you need to get over her. i got over this, i guess. it sort of bothers me and i have second thoughts about being his girlfriend and what not. besides that i’m randomly upset. this happens to me a lot. ugh. i’m happy one second, literally on top of the world and the next i feel like self injuring and i feel so worthless and tired. i’ve been diagnosed with depression and that’s basically it. i just don’t like being randomly upset after a good thing happens! it tends to happen a whole lot and i just, i don’t know what to do. if it were a year ago i would have self injured but now i’m trying not to because i haven’t for a while… since july of last year, to be specific. like, why break that? i don’t know. i don’t wanna be like this. i hate it so much and i wish i was normal but that will never happen. i just want someone to talk to when i feel this way so i don’t do anything i regret later in the past.
If you’re really worried about being a “rebound” to your boyfriend, then you can’t be happy in that relationship. It might just cause more stress in your life if you’re always wondering about his feelings for you and his feelings for her. Even if never liked her, that just plants a seed of doubt about if he really likes you. Or if he did and you are sort of a rebound, then that’s completely unfair to you. Sorry that was.kind of a lot of words. I guess what I mean is that I would think about all of the factors and see how you feel about him, whether or not he’s worth it. Anyway, that’s a really long time without SIing! That’s really impressive. You’re definitely right about trying not to break it. The thing about normal is that..well, I don’t think it exists. Yeah, some people may be better at putting on a show of being the “normal” happy person, but they have secrets and struggles too. A lot of people who are considered “normal” are depressed and unhappy and confused about their lives. Usually those people have coping methods–just like we do. Their methods are just different. Parrying, drugs, alcohol, multiple relationships–those are all coping mechanisms. Those are just accepted by society as being normal. They drink, we SI. Of course, not everyone is depressed, but a whole.lot of people are. Basically what I’m saying is that you don’t even need to think about being “normal.” Normal is an idea. Try to be healthy and happy instead. I know, it’s definitely a process and much easier said than done. If you want to talk and vent, I’m available if you’d like.