This is my first time talking about this with strangers, but, even though my family knows, I have no one i can really talk to. So, here goes. I was in the hospital a few months ago. My mom freaked out when she first found out that I hurt my self and she decided on her own that I was suicidal — I wasn’t. Since the hospital stay though, I have been so scared that she would send me back that I have managed to resist the urges, until recently. My mom is my life. I’m 28 and I still live with her (I know, totally lame). She just had surgery and she’s been in the hospital for a few days. I don’t know if its the stress or the lonliness or maybe even the fact that shes not here (some weird freedom from the threat of being sent back to the hospital) or something else entirely, but I can’t stop S.I. ing now. I recently got a new therapist. When I told her about the S.I. stuff she just said ok and changed the subject. I dont know if that means she doesnt think Im ready to deal with it yet, or she wants to get to know me more, or she just doest know what to do about it. So, of course, Im obsessing about whether I should stay with her or find someone else. And my godmother is treating me like a five year old made of glass. Every time she sees the bandages she asks me if I remembered to take my meds. I want to scream at her, but I know that she doesnt know how else to help. I wish we had the kind of relationship where I could just talk to her about this stuff. I know this is kind of all over the place, so thanks for reading it and any comments are welcome.