I haven’t been on here in a long time. I finally decided to get on because it seems like everyone that I was relying on and using for support isn’t very supportive anymore. I feel more like I’m on my own than ever before. People keep saying that they’re here for me whenever I need them, but they’re not. As soon as I ask to talk to them they’re busy or just ignore me. It hurts so much because I’ve been keeping alot bottled up thinking that I might be able to vent with them a little bit but obviously they don’t have time for me. And then to make things worse I’m feeling a lot of pressures from people at school.
The guy that wanted me to date him a year ago is friends with me again but is dating someone else. It just makes it awkward because I feel like he keeps saying that I’m miserable because I passed up my chance with him. It feels like he’s taunting me because he invites me to do stuff with him then reminds me he’s dating someone else. Normally I wouldn’t be too worried about it but lately all of my supports have failed so I’m in need of a friend more than ever right now and it’s like he’s waving it in my face, you could’ve had me but now I’m with her. I don’t know, that’s only part of what’s making me feel so low. I feel like I’m just ready to give up. I don’t see the point in even trying to quit if no one is there to care if I’m better or not. I want to be better but I can’t imagine being without SI. I need someone to help guide me and be there for me through it, not jeering at me from the sidelines. I just feel so hurt and alone right now I don’t even know what to do. This is going on my fourth year of SI, I’m ready to have an intervention, for someone to help me I just don’t know how
I don’t know you, but I kind of do. I know what you’re going through. I’ve been there. The people you tried to confide in don’t sound worth your time. I know it’s hard, but you have to see that they aren’t good friends and you deserve better. But, just because you can’t talk to them, that doesn’t mean you should keep all of your feelings bottled up. Keeping everything inside just slowly rots you from the inside out. Eventually whatever feelings you’re trying to keep locked up will seap out. Ionosphere’s you feelalone and sad and angry. It hurts when you feel unimportant or ignored. But you ARE important. People do hear you and your cry for help. The guy you mentioned sounds..kind of like a jerk. It’s very passive-aggressive to start being your friend again, but taunt you about him being with someone else. You definitely deserve better than that, even from someone who’s just a friend. Friends don’t treat people like that. I know it’s not the same, but if you need to vent, I’ll listen. I hope you start to feel better and want to stop SI for you. Not anyone else. Just for you.
I graduated highschool last year, and during the process lost all of my friends and support. you are not alone in this, and you can get through it just like i am doing now! You need to try and be strong for yourself, and start to build friendships with other people maybe.
talking and venting is important and there will always be people to listen, like me 🙂
try take care of yourself and ill try too <3
It’s great that you are reaching out for support. And I’m sorry people in your life haven’t been very supportive. That makes it hard to have the courage to continue reaching out.
If you want to get help for self injury, you may always call our number – 800-366-8288. It’s an 800 number (obviously!) and you’ll need to leave a message. We wish we had enough staff to answer it 24/7 – sadly we don’t. But we DO listen to all the messages and call back if you want a call. We are used to being very confidential, so it really is safe to call. I hope you’ll call – we can help you find a therapist or even find a treatment program maybe. If you’re ready to get help, we can do our best to point you in the right direction.
Best wishes, Pam