Two days ago i SI’ed again. I was doing so well too which made the fact that i did it even worse. I had gone a whole month which was a tremendous struggle, but i did it. I think just all the stress from finals reminded me of all the emotions i have felt before. All the pain i’ve experienced in my life was thrashing against the dam I was trying to rebuild. Normally when i feel this way, I try to distract myself. This time it didn’t work. To make it worse my mom almost saw it. My best friend knows about it and she was really sad when she saw it. She wants me to tell my mom or at least her mom for me to get help. If I told my mom it would just make her life miserable and in turn make everything worse plus I don’t want to believe i need the help. I’m horrified that if my dad found out he would be mad at me and think i was doing it for attention. I’m lost, hurting, and have no one to turn to but you guys cuz you guys actually know what its like. Help. Does anyone know a way to block the memories from flooding back in? It’s scary cuz it brings me back to the place where it was hardest, where i was my most depressed, where i wanted to be gone. I don’t want that now because life is starting to improve a little every day. My sister SI’s as well, and its hard because whenever one of us does it the other wants to. Luckily, the last time she did i was able to pull myself through and tell myself no but because I Si’ed she did too. She lives at my dad’s house and to tell you the truth life is awful there. They don’t care about us at all, I’m convinced. I’m lucky that I don’t live there full time or else I wouldn’t be here because thats where I had my depression the worst. Please… any advice for me and my sister would help alot!