ok so. i’m proud to say i haven’t harmed in quite a while now, about a month actually! i feel as if that chapter of my life has finally ended, hopefully. it’s really such a relief, not having to worry about keeping such a big secret from everyone all the time. i won’t say i don’t get the urge to, because i think it’s something that stays with you for a long, long time, but it’s such a good feeling to be strong enough not to give into it. and i know all of you have that inside of yourselves as well! however, i have traded in the s.i. for a new addiction. you can’t tell by looking at my body but i know its damaging me internally, which is even scarier to me. you know, because i can’t see the damage being done.  i don’t like feeling like i’ll always have to harm my body in some way to feel okay. but i’m not sure what else will help me, cus this is all i’ve ever known how to do. does anyone know what i mean?