It’s been almost a year since the first time I self injured. The whole reason it happened was just because I was trying to protect someone. Instead I ended up breaking up a relationship. Now, the guy is still not over the girl and keeps bringing it up, how it’s “been a year” and it makes me feel guilty because I know it’s my fault. On top of that, my really close guy friend’s girlfriend (ex as of 2 days ago) has been away for a while. Just as friends, me and him went to Main Event. She found out, and got really mad at me. I’m kind of scared, because she’s sort of unstable. My friend said that I helped him get the courage to break up with her, because he had been wanting to, but now I’m even more scared. She’s really upset about it, and I don’t know how she’ll handle it. I feel like if she does anything to herself, it will be my fault. Also, my best friend has become really rude and snobbish lately, and acting like she’s so much better than me, and my best guy friend is mad at me too. I feel like I don’t really have anyone anymore, and I’m under a lot of pressure, trying to get a good class rank, along with choir, debate, tennis, and softball. I self injured for the first time since November, and I don’t know why I keep doing it, because I hate myself afterwards. It just feels right at the time. And I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ll have these episodes of depression, like yesterday, but today I felt fine and happy. So I don’t think I’m depressed but I don’t know what it is. I need help.
Hey. Okay, even if you did contribute the relationship from a year ago ending, you have to forgive yourself. You can’t keep heating yourself up about things you can’t change. It’s in the past now, even of you still wish you could change it. I know it’s so hard, but just try and accept what happened as just the past. Don’t punish yourself for things you can’t change. You’ve got to learn to love yourself and stop hating yourself. You’re important! You ARE good enough. You can’t control people’s actions. If some people are going to overreactions about little rumors, that’s out of your control. I know you’re scared though. If you feel like you have to, you can calmly explain what really happened and that she doesn’t have to worry about you messing with her boyfriend. You don’t have anything to be sorry for or feel guilty about. As for your friend, she may be going through a hard time. You could try and talk to her and see if something has been bothering her or going on that she wants to talk about. If there’s nothing wrong, tthen she has no right, at all, to be rude to you. You need true friends that can be there for you. You don’t need to have to back down to someone who says he or she is your friend but really is just mean to you. I hope that helped.. you’ve got friends here to vent to if you need it. I always get on here
Great advise from barelybyhope!
AmandaBeth… do you have a therapist to talk to? It also seems like you may be a little perfectionistic :-)?
A therapist could help you to work on this issue..