After all this time of feeling good and being happy i get knocked back down. I feel like no matter how hard i try im going to fail. I feel it. I always fail i never make it and that really stinks like realy bad to keep thinking that about myself because i no im strong nd i can do anything, but i cant beat this. Or i feel like i cant beat this. This very moment i want to si i want to because whats the freaking point of hanging in there when days lik these i feel like i cant make it.and the people who are helping me dont understand that im going crazy. I feel controlled by the tool and i feel like ill never be able to get free from it. On top of that where i stay is not helping me get better. Ive tried to see the stupid future thht ill have once im gone bit now i dont even no what i want anymore. I fel like im losing myself everyday. So again whats the point of fighting this when its the only thing that can keep me sain, that has kept me sain? To low right now. Way to low.j