Is it normal for me to be super mad at someone and the next minute i’m there apologizing to them as i cry. Lately i have been feeling ignored by my friends, and i can’t speak up. I’m way to shy to even do it. I got so angry with myself, 1) i am so shy i can’t even speak up for myself and 2) my friends don’t pay attention to me. I have told them about how i was feeling about it several times and they just told me to not think about it and just have fun. I couldn’t. I couldn’t ignore all the loneliness. They asked me a few times to hang out but it never felt comfortable. It felt like i didn’t belong. One day i just wanted to give up. I turned to S.i. it was the only way i could express my feelings. i would feel better but those feelings of them ignoring me keep creeping back into my head. They confronted me, and i always wanted this, for them to talk to me about it. But no…my head wouldn’t let me so i ran off crying cause the way i acted was cold & evil. I felt evil. is it normal for me to be so cold to them then the next minute i break down and start apologizing for how i acted? And thinking that if i don’t exist that i wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore? and turning to S.i. I also do it cause i don’t like who i am, everyone tells me i’m special and unique but for some reason i can’t accept it and throw it back into their faces. Is this normal? I would like to hear from all of you. i don’t like the fact that i use self harm to feel better but sometimes its all i can do…