I Love how I THOUGHT you cared about me. And it’s just SO funny how even NOW after ALL you’ve DONE you STILL try to make me YOUR shoulder to cry on! You’re perception of things and life are really screwed up…. Just saying. I’m not gonna be there for you anymore. I can’t even be there for myself! And you made sure to give your heart away to someone else so stop trying to hold on to me. Why can’t you understand that that hurts?? But I have more problems than just you.. you’re nothing anymore. It’s everyone. Everyone I know almost are slowly becoming the same person, It’s sickening. Or who knows? Maybe it is me…. maybe I’m becoming the monster everyone says I am. If that’s the case, I’m sorry. Maybe I’m inconsiderate, selfish, short-sighted,mean, and rude, and insensitve and all of the things I think everyone else is and It’s really just me blaming everyone else.  I take responsibilites for all of my actions and try never to blame anyone else, but I don’t always notice if i’ve changed personally. I know I have definitely closed myself off more, but that was for my own good, I HAD to. I literally don’t trust anyone anymore…. And even when i get new opportunities to branch out to people I dont like to take them. I’ve had so many situations all end the same… And it just doesn’t matter if you’re “best friends” “besties” or “best guy/girl friends” either. In my life, EVERYONE has ended up treating me the same. Even my freaking family. I can’t talk to anyone. It’s nice that sites like s.a.f.e. exist because if it didn’t I’d probably explode. I just don’t care anymore. I really don’t. I’m sick and tired of starting relationships with people and them ending up treating me like dirt. It gets really really OLD after oh, say the 10th time or so. I get to see people screw me over then live out their happy endings. Then of course the really bold ones always, ALWAYS come back, trying to see if there’s anything left to take. Or trying to see if there’s anything left to use. I’ve never understood the concept of knowing you crushed someone then always trying to drag them back to you in someway. Why not just let them go? You People need to learn that they cant have everythign they want. You can’t be with someone until you think they dont make you “look” good anymore or until you find someone better…Loyalty is gone. I know I’m kinda talking all over the place but sorry it’s just how I feel tonight. I’m so sick of having to swallow down all my thoughts and feelings. I’m sick of people treating me awful and then trying to make up with me becuase I made friends with someone else and now they need me again to make themselves look good. I’m not doing it anymore. They’re lucky I still cover for them and I never say anything bad about them. I try even when I’m frustrated and furious with them to keep myself in check and not say anything I wouldnt want anyone saying about me, even if they do anyway. But I’m also not stupid enough (I hope) to be anyone’s doormat. I’m sick of being taken advantage of! I can’t even THINK of having another relationship with even a close friend because I have what other people did On my heart so heavily… I don’t want someone innocent to second hand-ly suffer just because they want to get close to me and I can’t let them..