Everyday I am thinking about what I want in life and I dont even know. Its funny because everything that I do I work so hard in. I work full time and go to school full time. I decided to stay home to take care of my family. I can do my own business in various of different fields, but nothing has grasped on to me, to make me see myself in the future. Ask me where I see myself 2 years from now and my answer is “barely there”. I have been getting the urge to SI so bad these days its a miracle of miracles that I havent gone crazy yet.
I can only push myself so far, and I think I have realized my problem. I am pursuing lust, but I havent found contentment. I want the supernova, when I should be happy with the night sky as is.
I think I am just dis-sasitifed with myself, but I know I have accomplished much…the truth of the matter is that I have accomplished much for everyone else except myself. I have no one to blame for my misery but myself.