For some reason this week i’ve just been feeling really numb i don’t know what i’ve been thinking or feeling. I just don’t know what’s wrong with me this week, i SIed after 2 weeks of not doing it and my eating disorder has been going crazy. It’s as if i need something to control. Why can’t i just be better again? Why can’t i just do what everyone says and “just stop” or “just eat” why can’t it be that easy ? I started it so why can’t i stop it?