I injured last night. I need answers and closure from a lot of things in my life. I can’t get it. It’s not in my control. SI is the only thing that’s mine and I control. Sometimes I’m in control anyway. I just wanted the relief of the scream inside. A physical proof of my pain. Some proof I’m hurting even if he doesn’t see it. Even if he doesn’t believe I have scars anymore. They’re real. My pain is real. Betrayal, confusion, depression, loneliness. It’s consuming me from the inside out. So much worse.. I’m gone