Feeling really helpless and scared. SI myself has always taken away my feelings and its allowed me to be numb. Now that i dont have a way to SI anymore im feeling all those feelings that ive pushed wayyyy deep down inside myself open up again and i dont like it. Its frustrating becausenive been doing so well and i was so proud of myself. But with all these feeling coming back i juat want to SI again. I just want to stop it all. I want to feel nothing again. I dont dont want to go back to SI but from how im feeling now that might be the only thing that can help me right now. Yes ive been talking to someone but i feel like i dont want to talk to tjem anymore. I feel like im bothering that peraon with all my issues. And tht just makes me want to SI even more because its like what am i suppose to do. Sooo lost right now i want to cry but. I cant.