I have only SIed myself twice. I was mad at my mom the first time and looking back now, I don’t think I was thinking at the time. The second time.. I have no reason for what I did. Nothing sparked it. I was totally fine an hour before. I never did it again after that. But I don’t understand how I can stop and yet I feel so weird inside.

I wasn’t abused as a child. Not physically or sexually. My dad was an alcoholic though. Is that the reason why I feel this way? Every time someone looks at me, I can’t help but think they think something is wrong with me. Almost like they can see something inside of me that I can’t. Whenever I look inside, I have no answer. No thought. I really hope I’m not alone with this. Am I depressed? Suffering from anxiety?

I don’t want people to look at me like a fake or poser. I’m horribly lost. Any help?