I literally have to force myself out of bed. I dont want to start my day. I want to lie in bed all day undisturbed by life. I hate being a burden on everyone. I hate relying on others for my happiness. I have to have other tell me im pretty, but even after everyone says it, i still think im ugly. I still think im worthless. Its all your fault. If it wasnt for you, i’de be normal. I havnt been the same since the first time you abused me. I questioned my every move. You scared but i still loved you. I got so used to you hurting me that when you werent around, i had to hurt myself. You punished me, so what was i supposed to do when you werent around. How was i supposed to learn a lesson? I learned how to soon enough. I think about what it would have been like if we never met. If that one day in the neighborhood we never hung out. If you would have stayed in your house. If you didnt ask me to make you a braclete. You still wear that braclete and it hurts me everyday to see it on you. Why am i the one to suffer? Its not fair that you can go on with your life unhurt. I want to see you in pain. I want you to understand what you put me through. I loved you more than anything. You made me think what you did was okay. I am messed up now because of you. I just want to be normal again. I dont want to have to hurt myself to feel loved. I dont want to. But i have to, and its all your fault.