I’ve been in counseling since the end of September and i’m in college. I’ve SIed for about 8 years now ever since 5th grade. Now it’s December and today marks 15 days without SI. I’m not saying i haven’t had urges because of course i have. I have had moments where i just wanted to just give up but i have amazing friends who have helped me through this time of my life. Attempting to recover from anorexia and Self Injury it’s hard to do but not impossible. I’m starting to realizing that the moments i SI and ruin the time i haven’t done it does not mean to just give up and stop trying. It’s going to take time especially because i’ve been doing it for so long. I’m trying to recover and i’m trying to realize that if i were to slip up it’s not the end of the world. I managed 15 days for the first time since August and i’m happy about that. Small steps matter and I KNOW i’m going to have hard days in my life but i’m starting to learn that it’s okay to just turn to a friend and lean on them for support.
Being in college and living with people caused me to gain really amazing friendships. I have one friend here who has helped me so much and i’m just starting to learn that it’s okay to tell her when i feel anxious because she’s here to help me she’s a friend and friends stick by no matter what. She taught me that i’m not a bad influence because i’m not telling her or people to do what i do. She helps me understand myself more and she assures me that recover isn’t impossible. Friends can really help during this time period in your life, I’m grate that everyone has been there for me during these hard times. I’m grateful for this website that allowed me to vent and feel like i’m not alone in this. This week has been hard i have to admit. I have finals this week so it has been really stressful and i am tempted but I’m fighting it, I’m fighting the feeling. Everything will be okay there’s always light at the end of a tunnel and as bad it sounds i know that with time i’m going to slip but i have to pay attention to the fact that as of today i’ve gone 15 days without needing Self harm to help with my stress. I’m proud of that fact. There’s always hope when you feel like there is none.