honestly i just can’t take anything anymore. i don’t like the way i look, i always feel horrible, i don’t want to just fake it anymore. i’m ready to s.i again and i honestly don’t care if  break the 4 and a half months. the only thing holding me back is people seeing and my mom seeing, because she checks whenever she gets the chance. i mean, it feels right when i’m doing it but afterwards i regret it, which makes me hate myself and want to do it again. basically it’s a cycle and i hate it, so much. everyday i have to deal with looking in the mirror and not being satisfied with what i see. pointing out all my flaws till i can’t find anymore, but i eventually find them the next day, and the next, and the next. i’m scared, i really am… i don’t want it to go as far as s.i. i think about doing it, every.single.day. and i don’t think anyone knows what that feels like. and yesterday a guy bullied me, i’ve been bullied in like elementary school but yesterday, the things he said. i can’t even go in detail because they’re too inappropriate to post on here. this i what i have to go through, every day. i hate it so much.. i’ll never be good enough for anyone.