Okay…This is my first post, so sorry if I start ranting on. When I do let out my feelings, they come all at once, so bear with me.
I starting SIing last spring. I don’t really know why. I just felt like I needed to do it. My parents found out in early summer, and told me not to do it. I stopped for a while, then did it again around mid-summer. My parents found out and threatened to hospitalize me. I haven’t done it since.
But recently, these feelings are coming back. And I’m scared I will SI again. I’ve taken numerous professional online tests, and they all say I have moderate-severe depression. Again.
But why did I start in the first place? Well, maybe because I’m adopted, and my biological mother who I haven’t seen since I was born is an alcoholic, druggie, used to work as a stripper in downtown NY, has several mental illnesses, and pretends that I’m still her daughter. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen my triplet sister, Tanner, in 7 and a half years, and the last time I spoke to her on the phone, about 5 years ago, she screamed at me and told me she hated me. Maybe it’s because I mightne anorexic. Maybe it’s because I’ve struggled with my sexuality for a year. (Yes, I am a lesbian). I don’t know. All I know is that I need help, and my parents pretend the SI thing never happened. I don’t know who to turn to. I hope some people on here can help me out.
Again, if there’s anything you want to know, just ask. I love answerig questions.
See ya.