The neighbor’s dog attacked and killed my cat last night. Why did it have to be in such a terrible way. I’m mad at God today. I get very frustrated with people like my parents who don’t care much about animals and think it’s just a normal day. It’s the “cycle of life” Steph, get over it. NO! It HURTS and I have the right to be upset! Kate, my cat, always rolled around upside down when we got home and she wasn’t there today.

I saw my therapist today. She says I need to feel this and I tell her I don’t know how and she tells me yes I do and she is right but I’m scared. I remember this feeling from when my other cat died and when my grandma died…it seemed too big of a pain to let myself feel. I got reminded today that I don’t HAVE to act on every thought and feeling I have. That feeling grief and sadness wont kill me but alcohol and self injury may.