I’m going to try this again, after 3 in the am, from my little net book, the only computer that seems to work here.

normally, i would be SIing at this very moment. but i’m not. this makes it 4 days now. i feel lousy.

Lotus, thank you for your comment.  I hope you are well.

Steph, I admire you. You are very well spoken & touched my heart.

I don’t know if I can’t si right now so i’m just gonna keep on typing.

i went by my dead grandmother’s house where i was abused as a girl this past sunday. got out and walked around took pics w my cell. the house is empty. it was trashy and  had a haunted feeling. it haunts me. i’m trying to face the things that make me want to si. maybe i am going too fast.

i’m also wondering if i’m seeing the right therapist. it had been 2 wks cuz of thanksgiving & i injured myself. she freaked out & wanted me to see the psychiatrist but as soon as my time was up it was like i was a hot rock & she dropped me. no follow through. alone again.

okay, i’m gonna click the save draft button then submit for review. i don’t usually click save draft. but this pc always lets my words show up. maybe we’ll see.