Something helped change my need to SI yesterday. I didn’t start seeing my therapist because of the SI, 4 or 5 months ago, but because of flashbacks & insomnia. Other issues as well, but why be dramatic.
I hadn’t seen her for 2 weeks due to Thanksgiving. It was a bad 2 weeks as far as SIing goes. During that time I found this website, trying to want to stop, which HAS helped me even though I’ve had weird technical issues.
Anyway, my therapist could tell I was tense, I told her I was in trouble, gave her a couple of my SIing devices, showed her my wounds, and she freaked. Freaked in a caring, helpless, what should I do kind of way.
I have an important job caring for children. My SIing is a result of my childhood. I am triggered daily. But, it’s worth it because of the good I know I give back to the child.
My train of thought is not fluid, & I was hoping to make a point,, but I lost it. Life is hard & it ALWAYS WILL BE NO MATTER WHAT.
injuring is a mask for me. it covers up the things i really need to confront. i am going to now take good care of my wounds & confront the reasons why they are there.
i am sad. i am scared. i am strong, well, not really, but i will go forward.
You can too. Thanks & take care, any 1 person who might read this, that is.