My support left me, its hard to resist and the pressure to be everything I wont ever be is harder than ever. A perfect older sister, the angel little sister, the parents that see you only for your flaws, the boyfriend that dumped you because you were damaged goods, the best friend that is too busy with her own boyfriend. I live in a house full of people, i’m constantly surrounded by crowds, yet i’ve never felt so alone… I’m not sure how to move on from here. I slipped and now I cant get back to my area of gray where I was recovering.
i know how you feel… i feel the same way, i have two perfect older sisters and everyone else is perfect. then there’s me.. the not perfect child. but i get through it.. i feel so alone right now it isn’t even funny.. im trying to get through it day by day and its so difficult.. i havent Self-Injured in 4 months, 2 weeks, and 4 days.. i’ve been through it all. it does get better eventually, trust me. if you ever need to talk im here, as a friend, supporter, mentor, anything.. just email me at vivig913@hotmail.com <3
I’ve felt this way a lot of times also. I always felt like my parents wanted me to be “perfect”. I was polite, involved in church, made good grades…etc. Then I turned out to be the self injuring, alcoholic, older daughter with a “lifestyle” they don’t approve of. My younger sister told me I’ve left nothing for her to look up to, I’m not who they expected me to be, I’ve let them down. There were 7 of us living together and I felt so alone all the time. Like I was screaming inside but couldn’t actually speak up to tell anyone I was so sad and lonely inside. I think I’m just trying to tell you I’ve been there also and I hope you feel better soon =)
I know how it is to feel alone. Im the middle child of 5 children and both of my parents give all their attention to my 4 siblings but me. I do everything on my own, if i need help with something i have to find a way to get it done, if i need someone to talk to I only have my boyfriend that has his own problems to deal with and i hate to always impose on him. But even always having to be on your own sometimes and to be miss perfect really teaches you to be a more independent strong person. It gets better 🙂 <3