here i am sitting and thinking what is next in my life i have not injured in 3m but every day i keep want to feel the rush  of joy and claim ik that sound crazy to ppl that have never injure or siv a day in there life but to me it my way how i stay claim and happy but i am try to stop that because i have been an injurer for more then 13 year ik it hard to wrap your head around that for ppl that have not but i am not the tipe who would have done it if i hade the chouse not to ik you r think yes you did for me i did not i had no other chose but to do it so i did it and now i pay the price for doing it every time i look down on then and see what i have done i can tell u this but when i injure it was like a way of showing ppl that i was in pain i have hear it say that if you are an injurer it was a way to cry you see i was the mild child and oldest but if u dont get it let me tell you y i am that way my brother has Autism and he is stuck at be a 8 year old and i had to grow up and protex him and my littel sister from our father bc my u c like littel girls in that tipe of way so from the time i was 4 i was used by him untill the time i left for college when i was 19  and my brother and sister hate me bc they wanted the time i had with my father but all i wished was for was to be like them to have not put his hand on me and i had to make sure that he did not hurt my littel sister so i end up bee his toy for better words and to keep it pg and have my mom rath was on me when my dad lived with us bc she hated then time he gave me but no one knew what he was doing to me all i wish was for was to be like  my brother and sister but i knew what would have happed if i toold what happed my family would no longer be together and how would that not be bad u ask will he was still a dad to my brother and sister for all prostes but i could not take there dad away so i keep my mouth shut untill he left us last year so here it has been a year and now we all are doing better and i am try to get better to