hello everyone. i haven’t been on here  in years, and up until now, i was doing really well. a few days ago, however, my life was flipped upside down.

so, last week, i finally told someone about my si. i haven’t told anyone ever (besides a priest), in the 4 1/2 years i’ve been struggling. i told my best friend, and found out that she’s been in my position. i was so relieved to finally let it out and have someone understand! that was probably the happiest i’ve been since i ever started. however, she’s been having a really hard time at home and has been thinking about running away. she talked to her mom about it, and her mom said that she can move out when she’s 18, which is in 10 months. this means that next year, our senior year, she’ll be moving in with her boyfriend and transferring to his school. and all this happened since last week.

at this point, i’m completely lost. i have no idea what to do. the night she told me, i cried myself to sleep. today, i’m skipping school because i can’t bear to see her. i talked to her last night and told her how upset i am, and she’s really sorry that i’m caught in the middle of this. but that doesn’t change the fact that i want to si the most i have in a very long time. i love her so much, but i don’t see any point in continuing to put effort into this friendship when i know i’m going to lose her eventually. she won’t be moving that far away, only about 45 minutes, but i won’t know what to do not seeing her hours everyday. we have spent the last 5 weekends together, and we were going to have a double date on friday but  i am so emotionally drained, i don’t think i can attempt to have fun with her anymore because i’ll only be thinking of the future. on one hand, i’m happy that she’ll be able to leave an unhealthy environment, and i feel guilty for bringing her down with my sadness, but how am i supposed to have a great senior year when my best friend is gone?

has anyone else been in a situation like this and can offer me advice? i’m pretty much hopeless right now so any help is greatly appreciated.