I reached the end… and I’m sorry… 140 days, 4 months + 18 days, 20 weeks… all are the same. The days which I lasted without self injuring.
I keep telling myself that I’m allowed to break down, at least that’s what I did until today happened. I have fallen in love so deeply, and I won’t let myself go on anymore. So, I went and didn’t give it another thought, so I SI’d. I let the feeling control me, I let myself get lost. Sure, it wasn’t that bad, but it was not really worth it. When people want to do things so long, when people are waiting this long, an excuse is anything.
I cried. I cried and I feel awful.
Regret is everything.