i honestly can’t do it anymore. the constant annoying things from my sister and stupid stuff from my mom and her husband. it’s just mostly my sister. just talking to her makes me want to self injure. i hate doing this..i hate trying to be perfect for my mom, and everyone else. i hate how my sister ALWAYS think’s she’s right when in reality i can be right too…there really isn’t any right or wrong thing. no one ever understand the urges i get. one day i swear they’re gonna over take me and i’m gonna s.i again…and i don’t want to. i just need, someone to talk to.
sweety….youcan talk to me anytime you want…i know i need someone to talk to….and i mean someone whos going through the same things as me… my sister drives me crazy too…. i need to stat being honest to myself….my brother is ashamed of me,…..he knows i SI…he doesnt talk to me AT ALL….i know it must be horrible to have a sister who slowly kells herself….but i swear if he showed a little love, i would be better. hes part of the resaons i SI. i need to speak to him about it. if i dont do it soon i swear ill die. literally. i cant take it anymore. he is just so ashamed of me. i know he is. the other thing that kills me is that he has the best relationship with my sister. i hate her. and whenever im around he treats her like she is his best friend. that should be us! we goto parties together, we go out with the same people. we share friends. we should be friends too. my sister is three years younger than him!!! they never g out. they dont even talk….well today i found out they do. ive known about his girlfriend ever since I MET her!!! my sister doesnt know her, and HE told her about his GF….its just not fair.
were on vacation…as always, im sharing a room with him. hes next to me watching tv…he has no idea im writing about him. he hasnt said a word to me since about two months ago. he didnt even hug me on my birthday. im just so sad. im going to therapy. it works when im there….but when i leave the room, i begin to think about suicide again. i just love him too much.
hes the reason im still alive…but hes also the reason i’m so depressed
The cool thing about this website is everyone can relate an understand that feeling of fighting urges or caving into urges. When you’re stressed or feeling that urge or you caved write here because you’re not alone. I can relate to this attempt of being perfect because that’s what i do i try and please everyone and i try my best to make other people happy and when they’re not happy i’m unhappy and blame it on myself. I satisfy my happiness for the happiness of others and i end up feeling worthless as if the amount of times i relapsed back into SI is something i deserved. I’ve always blamed this on myself because i brought it onto myself 8 years ago as an 11 year old. You’re never alone.